So funny. Doctor Doom does stand-up comedy, ripping on the Fantastic Four. honestly, you should already be watching it.

The Comedy Of Doom [BamKapow, via YouTube]

Here, here is true WTFery as only the intertubes can provide. Zachary Quinto, the fellow who plays everyone newest favourite Vulcan, is walking his dog in the company of a giant piece of meat and a blood soaked butcher.

If you need more description than that to watch this, I really have to question why you’re on the web at all.

There’s Really No Explanation For This [dlisted]

I don’t know if this is the best thing I’ve seen all month, or the absolute worst. In the holiday season fo 1977, Donny & Marie Osborne, the shameless brother and sister act, decided to do a skit where they played Luke and Leia (did they know something we didn’t?) for a musical medly playing off of a then-hit film you may have heard of, Star Wars. so they gathered memebers of the real cast, specifically Anthony Daniels as C3-P0, and Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca, got themselves a remote controlled R2-D2, and proceeded to leave behind a legacy of pain and suffering.

Okay, I may exaggerate slightly, but still, this shit be whack. We’ve got notorious fag icon Paul Lynde playing Moff Tarkin to the upper limits of camp, we have the voice of TONY THE FUCKING TIGER dubbing Darth for us, and we have, and admittedly I love this bit, sexy stormtroopettes. I only use that phrasing because of the high-kicking legs. Yeah.

Oh, did I forget to mention Kris Kristofferson plays Han solo, and Redd Fucking Foxx plays Obi-Wan (while plugging his then-current show)? Oh, fuck yeah. I can’t make this stuff up. They had some goooood drugs back then…

It’s Like Awesome and Awful Had a Baby [Topless Robot, via YouTube]

Lovely picture, isn’t it? I think it looks nice, personally, but the young lady pictured seems to disagree. Kimberley Vlaeminck, an 18 year old Belgian girl, went into the Tattoo Box studio in Kortrijk to get a tattoo done. Her story is:

“I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars, saying it would look prettier.

“When he started the tattooing I didn’t want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning.”

“I woke up when he was starting to tattoo my nose and I saw what he had already done. I counted 56 stars, it’s frightening.”

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tattoo done, but let me tell you, those thing sting like a son-of-a-bitch. The closer you are to the bone, the more it hurts too; it’s easier to get a tattoo on your ass than on your sternum, for example. The mere thought that this young lady could pass out cold while getting facial tattoos is so absurd as to be laughable. The artist in question offers a much more reasonable assertion:

“She was awake and looked in the mirror several times as the procedure was being done… She agreed, but when her father saw it, the trouble started…”

I’ve no doubt that daddy freaked when he saw his little angel all marked up like a sparkle-princess street hood, so she made up this bullshit story. The lack of personal accountability in modern day society is truly sickening; the worst part is, the artist is going to find up paying stupid amounts of money to lawyers to defend himself from her claims. Tres lame.

Belgian girl’s tattoo ‘nightmare’ [BBC News]

Geez, I’ve been neglecting my pretty little blog, haven’t I? Ah well, I’ve got some gems stored up for y’all, and we’re going to start with this amusing little tale.

Back in March, this cute little Korean girl walked into Vice Magazine, all tattoos and smiles, to interview for a job. She said she used to work for a ticket company, was big into music and the scene, and charmed the pants off of her interviewer. They hired her on the spot. A few days later, one of her co-workers decided to Google her, and suddenly the new hire was revealed as a serial scammer of amusingly grand proportions

Wanted in Utah for floating bad cheques, Kari moved to NYC, great state of opportunity, to continue her grifting ways. Her marks were stupid boys who reacted positively towards her aggressive sexual advances; she’d control them with sob stories of cancer and pregnancy scares, bilk them for a few grand and then vamoose when they either got wise or fed up. Here’s a typical quote:

Bobby told some friends of his the whole story and they seemed incredulous, so he Googled her and found the wanted poster. “After I realized the whole thing was bullshit, she continued to send me texts,” he said “She texted me on Christmas to tell me that she loved me. As soon as I realized who she really was, I stopped contacting her.”

Okay, so, you figured out that she was a wanted criminal, and just started to ignore her? Dude, two words: Reward Money. I’m sure someone down in Utah would’ve been happy to offer a little cash bonus for bringing in one of their most wanted. But no, Robert decided to just shun Kari, letting her continue on her string of scams and skips. The article mentions several people doing this, and I’m just appalled. Where’s the social responsibility? Heck, where’s the urge to profit? Kids these days have no business sense. Anyhow, as I’m reading, one thing sticks out to me. While I admire Miss Farrell’s anti-social tendencies, she keeps on making on giant fucking mistake. Can you guess what it is? Bobby finally wised up…

“What I find so strange is that she uses her real name,” Bobby, the 23-year-old Rutgers student, said. “I was thinking she’s just a really good liar. She goes after people who are very trusting, and exploits that. She really had me going—my first instinct is not to Google someone when I meet them.”

For some god-forsaken reason, Kari keeps using her real name! For such a smart, charismatic young lady, a mistake of this magnitude is rather shocking. I can only presume that her repeated string of successes has made her cocky, but it won’t last forever. Considering she got busted a month ago in Philadelphia, it may already be over for her. Kari, if you ever read this, please, start using some aliases; you’re far too easy to find on Google as it stands.

Oh, and Bobby? Maybe you should make it your first priority to Google people you meet. It’ll be a lot safer in the future for you, I’m sure.

The Hipster Grifter [The Observer]

Someone decided to put a PS3 controller through a medical scanner. Pretty simple concept really, but with an awesomely cool looking result.

Let’s Run A PS3 Through A Medical Scanner! [Kotaku via radiologyart]

This is a lovely way to start the week! Footage of a giant robot spider in the warehouse district of Yokohama, wandering around, spitting steam and water. The thing is apparently 40 feet tall, and as you can see, there’s at least three people riding on it’s back. I think I’m in love. Who wants to help give the inventor some more funds so we can bring one of these to Burning Man?

Giant robot spider in Yokohama (pics/ video) [Pink Tentacle]

How on earth this escaped my attention, I will never know, but I’m glad I’ve found it now! Apparently last Hallowe’en, Hustler released a porn spoof of The Munsters, rather plainly titled This Ain’t The Munsters XXX. Notable scenes apparently include Herman and Lily celebrating their wedding anniversary with a cemetery sex session, and Eddie, gets to “howl with pleasure” as he makes it with two girls. As you can see from the embedded trailer, Marilyn and Grandpa are also included, so I can only imagine what they get up to. Mmmm, Marilyn. Now, I just need a copy for the collection. Purely for research purposes, you understand.

This Ain’t The Munsters XXX [Official Site]

This is an interesting little article. A collection of excerpts from various interviews where different comic book artists talk about real-life encounters with their characters. I’ve seen a few of these before, but they’re well worth reading again. One of my favourites comes from Alan Moore:

One day, I was in Westminster in London — this was after we had introduced the character — and I was sitting in a sandwich bar. All of a sudden, up the stairs came John Constantine. He was wearing the trenchcoat, a short cut — he looked — no, he didn’t even look exactly like Sting. He looked exactly like John Constantine. He looked at me, stared me straight in the eyes, smiled, nodded almost conspiratorially and then just walked off around the corner to the other part of the snack bar.

I sat there and thought, should I go around that corner and see if he is really there, or should I just eat my sandwich and leave? I opted for the latter; I thought it was the safest. I’m not making any claims to anything. I’m just saying that it happened.

Go through the whole thing, you’ll find it well worth the read.

Superman is Real [Electric Children]

Okay, yeah, it’s a bodyspray commercial, but c’mon! Girl-on-girl panty-clad lightsaber action!

GRRR, LIGHTSABER LINGERIE FIGHT! [FilmDrunk]

This is probably one of the cleverest presentations of the story of Little Red Riding Hood ever. By far the slickest…

Neat: The Science Of Little Red Riding Hood [Geekologie, via Vimeo]

This pony makes me feel funny inside.

My Little Disturbingly Attractive Slave Pony Leia [ToplessRobot]

This is far too cool. It turns out that you can go to FAO Schwarz’s site and build yourself a personal Muppet! One of the generic ones, mind you, but still, personal Muppet! As you can see, I designed this one to look like Frankie as a cast member of the puppet version of The Sopranos. Now, if only I could justify spending $90 USD on a special friend…

Muppet Whatnot Workshop

Okay, maybe not technically, but I can’t tell if this thing is creepy or cool. The Star Wars-branded The Force Trainer uses an EEG reading headband to allow you to float a plastic ball up a ten-inch tube, so as to appear analogous to Luke’s training sessions on Dagobah. The technology, formerly used in fancy military experiments and physiotherapy devices, seems to be spreading out into children’s toys.

It’s funny how often former military tech is applied to stuff for kids.Or do I mean disturbing? Yeah, that’s the one.

Star Wars Force Trainer teaches children to kill… with their minds [Engadget via USA Today]

I don’t really have much clever to say about this one; it’s a fucking beautiful video, a delightful track, and it just makes me smile.

Space Invaders are happy up there in Royksopp’s new music vid [Joystiq]

This is lots of fun. Taking all the scenes with R2-D2 from the excreble Star Wars: Episode One, a fellow by the name of MeanestBear has managed to wring some amusement from the biggest disappointment of 1999. As a bonus, you can also remind yourself of how gaddamn fucking annoying Jar Jar was, and roll your eyes at young Anakin’s “piloting” skills. Fun for the whole family!

VOTD: R2-D2 Subtitled [/film, via DailyWhat]

I hate it when people say they don’t like musicals. Mostly because, especially amongst those I hang out with, they immediately confess to loving The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Of course they do, who doesn’t? Eventually you can then pry out of them that they do in fact like other musicals, such as Little Shop Of Horrors, that one episode of Buffy, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So, in the spirit of singing something instead of just saying it, I present to you Fishmen, a musical version of the H.P. Lovecraft classic, The Shadow Over Innsmouth, produced by the always amazing H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society. Honestly, I was a little doubtful that they could cram the entirety of the story into one minute and thirty-eight seconds, but by Jove they did, and it’s pretty damn slick. There’s some fine effects work, some disgusting Deep Ones, and a jaunty tune to take you along one man’s voyage of sickening self-discovery. Please, enjoy, and remember, you never quite know where you came from, until you go look!

Why Didn’t Gershwin Do This? [kali921, via warren_ellis]

Okay, so I’ve seen a lot of weird hand-made fan stuff in my time on this here series of tubes we call the interblag. I’ve also seen a lot of sexy cool stuff too. This, however, this… this shit just creeps me right the fuck out. What kind of batshit crazy mentality do you have to have to make a felt re-creation of Bella’s womb, complete with mutant vampire fetus? Look at that thing! Someone put a lot of time and effort into making it. Look how delicately they’ve formed the creepy little fetus. My gods people. If you could put this kind of drive and industry towards something like, say, curing cancer, we’d all live forever.

Just like your precious little sparkly vampires. Think about that.

You Need Help: Bella’s Womb From Twilight [Geekologie, via Cinematical]

This is probably the coolest thing I’ve seen, or heard, more properly, all month. ArcAttack, a self-proclaimed “high tech musical collaborative”, perform the theme to Doctor Who using a pair of Tesla coils. This performance is from Chattacon 2009, which apparently is a southern sci-fi convention held in January. There’s some random trivia in with your awesome, eh? I’m just astounded I didn’t have a tesla category previous to this…

The Doctor Who Theme Played With Tesla Coils [Topless Robot]